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What makes children happy?
Happiness is no laughing matter, although fun is certainly important. Research into wellbeing suggests happiness is not a single emotion, but actually three layers of experience: physical pleasure, emotional satisfaction and personal achievement. All three need to be in balance to create wellbeing. Children need all three skills to make life satisfying:
• Knowing how to enjoy their senses and physical skills without becoming over dependent on pleasure
• Becoming confident learners without anxiety about criticism
• Forming strong relationships and enjoying companionship without fear of rejection So how can you help your child develop a balanced and fulfilling life? Pleasure is not the whole story. When you eat an ice cream or go on a fairground ride the result is a rush of pleasure. It’s undeniably fun, but the effect is short lived. Children can enter a spiral of needing more and bigger experiences to satisfy them. When children demand more and more food; toys or excitement this can be a sign that all is not well in other areas. Children’s natural desire to explore and learn makes personal achievement deeply satisfying. Play is nature’s way of encouraging children to practise new skills. Play is highly motivating because happy hormones are released which create energy and keep children involved. Doing something in a playful way is completely captivating; children can concentrate for much longer. This intense concentration is what psychologists call “flow”. Doing something everyday which creates flow is a healthy counterbalance to more formal learning at home and at school. Your child’s wellbeing will not be complete if their happiness is purely personal. Children need satisfying relationships, love and close friendships are essential, but children also need to know how to fit into a larger group. Emotional intelligence is central to wellbeing; EQ is the insight and practical skills which help us to understand other people and how to get along with them. Developing social skills is complex and continues throughout childhood. Children need wide social experience but also useful feedback. When adults oversee situations, children can develop their social skills step by step, with guidance and support. Children also learn from each other but sometimes that advice is not so gently given. Everyone your child meets will contribute to their social learning. The old saying that it takes a village to bring up a child remains true in the 21st Century. Jeni Hooper
Child Psychologist and Parent Coach
www.happy2learn.co.uk
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PLEASE VISIT THE CONTRIBUTOR'S WEBSITE
Happy2Learn
Happy2learn: creating a good childhood
www.happy2learn.co.uk
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